I Promise You it’s More Fun in the Philippines🇵🇭

Harry goes to Boracay to find out whether the island deserves its tourist-trap reputation, and decides it doesn’t — by the end he rates it the nicest place he’s been. The first half is the beach: haggling a boatman down from 7,000 pesos, a loaded mango shake, a leather wallet carved to order in seconds, a sea turtle nest, and a snorkelling stop at Crocodile Island. The second half is the island’s most expensive hotel, the Shangri-La at $550–600 a night, which he reaches by boat and enters from the beach — becoming, staff tell him, the first guest ever to check in that way. He tours a resort big enough to need a map and a buggy, has a traditional Filipino hilot massage he rates 10 out of 10, and leaves by free speedboat to the airport. He is also clear that he’s staying exactly one night and moving somewhere cheaper.

Key moments

• [00:00] The premise: everyone told him Boracay is a tourist trap, so he’s come to investigate — heaven on earth, or a sandy scam with a sunset view.
• [01:00] Negotiating a boat to the Shangri-La. Mentioning where he’s staying gets him the Shangri-La price rather than a better one.
• [02:14] The opening quote is 7,000 pesos and nearly floors him. A car would take about 35 minutes around the island; the boatman draws him a map to show why the sea route makes sense.
• [03:24] The price turns out to include island stops and snorkelling on the way — three hours in total.
• [04:32] Harry counters at 5,000. The boatman, Mig, is a licensed tour guide and half Spanish.
• [05:05] They settle at 4,000 for a shorter trip, and Harry admits he has no cash on him and needs to find an ATM.
• [05:36] A loaded mango shake from beach vendors — mango cubes and sweet corn on top — for 140.
• [08:06] He tries out Tagalog he’s been taught and is told, laughing, that he should absolutely not say it.
• [09:53] His verdict on the trap question: the water is crystal clear and it’s one of the nicest places he’s ever been.
• [10:23] Wallet carving on the beach — personalised while you wait, done in seconds with a burning tool.
• [10:57] A pearl necklace at 150 and a wallet at 50; both together come to 200.
• [11:34] He meets a man called Bing Bong, gives him a carved wallet purely for the name, and promises to call his own child the same.
• [13:05] He tells the carvers they’re charging too little and leaves the change on top.
• [14:45] A protected sea turtle nest — he notes the barriers are a good sign amid heavy development, while pointing out restaurant lights still raise hatchling mortality, because the hatchlings mistake them for the moon and head inland.
• [15:20] Setting off by boat with Captain Bobby, who’s been doing it almost ten years.
• [15:52] An aside on the coconut-harvesting overhead: more people die from falling coconuts than from sharks.
• [17:36] Renting flippers — 500 pesos, discounted to 495 by a seller who tells him she’d change husbands for him, then to 250, in a run of hard-sell banter he clearly enjoys.
• [19:48] She sends sweets along for Bobby too.
• [21:31] Harry takes the wheel — left is right and right is left — on his first time steering a boat.
• [23:21] Crocodile Island, named for its shape, with coral and fish; they snorkel from the ladder.
• [25:07] Arrival at the Shangri-La, $550 a night, approached from the water.
• [25:44] Security stops them walking in from the beach and calls a buggy; reception confirms he’s the first guest to check in that way.
• [26:53] The scale: 219 rooms including 36 villas, four restaurants, a main pool, two spas, two private beaches — one shared with another five-star hotel — tennis courts, gym, kids’ zone, clinic, salon and gift shop.
• [28:31] A second Bing Bong, this time on staff, gets the other carved wallet.
• [29:07] Check-in is hands-off: they take the passports and he waits with free coffee and cookies.
• [30:54] His Amex Platinum brings a $100 property credit plus early check-in and a 4pm checkout — effectively two days for the price of one.
• [31:00] “You know you’re at an insane hotel when they give you a map.” Free resort activities include body conditioning, a sing-along, shell magnets, a snorkelling trial and DIY potpourri.
• [32:00] An 8,000-peso incidental deposit at check-in.
• [33:04] The staff tour keeps going — everything is on site, and he jokes he never has to leave.
• [34:14] He’s blunt that he isn’t paying $600 a night twice and will move to a cheaper hotel tomorrow.
• [36:01] Monkeys live in the grounds — harmless, but don’t feed them or leave food out.
• [37:41] Room tour: twin beds, complimentary espresso machine, San Miguel not complimentary.
• [38:12] An honest assessment — this is one of the older rooms, roughly fifteen years on, with slightly dated furniture and a bit of dust. He says he’s paying a lot so he’s going to be judgmental about it.
• [39:57] Overall he can’t complain: perfect beach, two private beaches, huge resort.
• [40:32] The pool and beach bar, in a dark, moody, older style rather than the usual bright five-star look — which he prefers.
• [42:18] The spa: he picks hilot, the traditional Filipino massage, quoted at 1,800 and focused on the back.
• [44:56] Judy, the therapist, is 27 with one child and has been doing this almost eight years; Harry is her first customer of the day.
• [46:05] He’d worried she was too small to be strong enough, and says she has thoroughly fixed his back.
• [47:25] The bill comes to 2,200 (from video – unverified), plus a tip. He rates it 10 out of 10.
• [47:57] Departure by free private speedboat to the airport — which isn’t on the island — instead of the big public ferry.
• [48:30] He closes by thanking viewers for making trips like this possible.

Extracted pages

• Place: Boracay
• Country: Philippines
• Tips: Judge a place for yourself, Reward honesty and hard work, Haggle with a reference price